as pretentious this sounds (maybe) I have yet to find a guy around my age to have a capable deep conversation and connect with. I find the only type of guys I can have this sort of interaction are usually slightly a few years older than me or when we are both out of our comfort zone…travelling, backpacking or something…
I think one the biggest mistakes made before starting uni is that we are made to believe that freshers week is the best week of your life…that it’s a must to coerced yourself to socialise as much as possible, go to most and all social events to make yourself in place, feel ‘cool’, stick and cling yourself to the same people you met during that week…
Looking back…I really tried so hard during my freshers week and maybe my freshers year. I guess expectations are really high when you deprived yourself from these things or you are told over and over again that freshers week is some sort of legendary thing that it’s essential to experience, and if you missed out you must be a boring person. It’s a stupid belief and idea really…and looking back I wish I didn’t make the whole uni culture such a huge deal.
At present…I find clubbing a bit dull? (although I like partying/clubbing when I travel I guess but that’s a different story). I find people who make such a huge deal about going out all the time a bit dull??? (going out as in clubbing every night lol) although I’m not generalising all just a portion.
The thing that sucks about mental illness is that if you aren’t depressed enough, suicidal enough, bad enough, nobody cares. Nobody cares until you reach their standard, and that standard is when your problem is bad enough to effect them
The amount of people who can relate to this makes me equally incredibly sad and immensely angry
my fall look today is winged eyeliner, plum lipstick, and a look on my face like i’m fucking your boyfriend and can’t wait for you to find out.
My fall look is simple liner with bold lashes, burgundy lipstick, a gleam in my eyes that let’s men know that I’ll suck their dick, their money out of their bank accounts, and the souls right out of their bodies.
Some men don’t understand that we women sometimes prefer to be alone, and it doesn’t mean i’m lonely. By ‘alone’ I mean don’t talk to me when I don’t feel like it…don’t try to attempt to seduce me with whatever antics you have just because I’m alone and it makes me an ‘easy target’…don’t touch me when I’m clearly uncomfortable by your presence. I don’t need dependence to show I’m alright and can have a ‘great time’. If I do want company I will act like I want it, so please stop when I obviously do not. I don’t want someone ruining my experience of what I may look forward to…slowly becomes what I fear and prevent myself from going to. Instead I ask for me, as person, doing tasks like going to a gallery alone…travelling alone…concerts alone…eating alone etc, to be respected for gaining the confidence to be independent, and to respect my enjoyment of being alone.
Please do not use the idea of me being alone as an opportunity for yourself. Please do not associate that I seem ‘lonely’.
I think that appreciating the act of doing things alone in travelling, eating out, watching movies etc has really helped me form a clear perspective of what I want to achieve…I don’t know…learning to love myself and gain confidence. I feel so much better, I guess.
Recently I have been trying to cook vegan meals and possibly trying to transition into veganism. But I guess the challenge is giving up cheese (I’m not fond of vegan cheese other than blending cashews + nutritional yeast to substitute parmesan). I’m able to go through days without eggs though